The Return
by melchaz
Summary: Oneshot. Dean is still torn about Castiel's demise and blames himself. But who should show up; none other than the holy tax accountant himself. T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Sam was really testing Dean's patience.

But Dean really didn't have to energy to tell Sam to shut the hell up, or to even kick him underneath the table so he would stop rapping his fingers on the dull, linoleum that covered it. He didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes as Sam asked him, yet again, if he wanted to talk about it. He didn't have the energy to acknowledge Sam's bitch face.

So, he just kept staring out the window, to the dull, unknowing world.

He heard Sam sigh, one of those '_poor Dean, I know your pain_,' sighs.

He almost had enough energy to punch Sam in the face as Sam reached over and touched Dean's hand gently. He could see Sam in the corner of his eye, watching Dean's expression. Dean hardened his jaw. 

'Dean.'

Dean looked over at Sam but said nothing. Sam shut his laptop and moved his coffee to the side. Nerd.

'Dean, I know-'

'No you don't,' Dean said back, monotonously. He was not having this conversation with Sam. Sam couldn't sympathize with him, not this time.

'Dean,' Sam tried again, 'Ok I don't know. But please, talk to me.'

Dean moved his hand from underneath Sam's and brought it together with his other hand, elbows on the table and fingers curled together to make a fist under his chin, both thumbs underneath his teeth.

'What do you want me to say, Sammy?' Dean sounded tired, exhausted, as if he was in his eighties, not thirties.

'Say anything, Dean. Tell me what's going through your head,' Sam pleaded quietly, though no one in the diner was even listening. He was trying to break through Dean's tough-guy facade. Dean ran a hand over his tired face, sitting back.

'We tried, Dean. We tried to help him,' said Sam.

'If we did such a good job helping him, then why are we sitting here, and he's...' He couldn't say dead. Or gone. Those words put a lump in his throat, so he just ended it with, 'wherever he is.'

'Because he's an angel, he thought he was powerful enough to not need any help,' Sam used present tense, knowing that Dean would notice straight away if he referred to Castiel as gone.

'I told him he was family. But seriously... how many times did we call him just to... talk? Not once. No wonder he didn't want any help from us... That's all we ever asked from him! We only ever called him when we needed something from him...'

'Hey,' Sam said sharply and Dean looked at him through bleary eyes, 'don't you dare try blaming yourself Dean. We called him when we needed help because that's what family does. They help each other.'

Dean went back to looking out the window. No matter what he said, Sam would have an answer for it, so he shut his mouth and didn't bother.

'We used him,' Dean muttered, more to himself, but Sam heard it and sighed angrily.

'How many times have we saved him? Think about it Dean.'

'He'd still be alive if he never met us.'

'Dean you shut the fuck up, right now,' Sam hissed and Dean was so surprised at Sam that he snapped his attention straight back to him.

'Cas is our friend. He has been since he raised you from hell. So you listen to me. We didn't let Cas down, he just felt like he had no other options. He knew that if he had told us from the beginning about Crowley's offer, that we would have put him on a different path. He knew that we wouldn't think logically, because we cared about him too much. He wanted to win,' Sam's face was hard. Clearly he had put a lot of thought into this.

'Team Free Will, remember?' Sam's voice was a lot softer now. Dean nodded once and went back to look at the window. He sighed.

'I just wish he didn't go to Crowley, you know? Even though I was with Lisa and Ben, he still could have asked me-'

Dean suddenly stopped and Sam looked up at Dean's stunned face.

'What is it?'

Dean didn't answer but shot out of the booth, spilling coffee everywhere and ran out the door. Sam grabbed his laptop and followed, almost running into Dean who had stopped on the footpath and was looking around like a hound scenting a fox.

'Dean! What is it?'

'I...' Dean was looking around frantically, eyes wide, 'Sam go get the car.'

'What?'

'Go get the car,' Dean growled and Sam backed off, running around the other side of the diner to get the car. As soon as Sam was out of sight, Dean took off running at full speed towards the crowd that was walking down the sidewalk. He moved between people, muttering 'sorry' every now and again as they made a noise frustration at being pushed or elbowed.

At the end of the sidewalk, he saw the swish of the coat turn the corner and he ran again, skidding to a halt as he turned the corner.

'Cas!' He yelled out, expecting to see him, but he was faced with a dead end, empty street.

His heart was pounding; he could have sworn he had seen...

Dean felt his face fall into heavy disappointment and licked his lips. His hands turned to fists at his side.

'Fuck,' he said to himself, turning, only to be shoved up against the brick wall with brutal force, a blade at his neck. Dean's green eyes were confronted with hard blue ones and he stammered.

'C-Cas?'

'Who are you?' Cas asked in a hard voice, his eyes squinted in suspicion. Dean looked from the blade at his neck, just a normal, non-angelic blade, back up to Cas. His heart dropped again, despite it beating furiously. He plastered a nervous smile to his face.

'Cas, you're alive,' Dean didn't know how he could sound so relieved when he was an inch away from being slaughtered.

Cas seemed to relax just the slightest, 'Who are you?' He repeated.

'Cas, you... you seriously don't remember me?'

Cas gave him a deadly look. Clearly that wasn't the answer he wanted.

'Dean,' Dean said quickly, 'My name is Dean Winchester.'

'Why were you following me, Dean Winchester?'

Dean felt himself slump, even though Cas was holding him in a vice grip in one hand, the other was still holding a knife to his neck.

Dean looked into Cas's eyes imploringly, 'Please, Castiel. You know me.'

'How do you know who I am?'

'Your name is Castiel... You're an angel. I think you're the angel of Thursday or something.'

'... Anyone could know that.'

'Your vessel's name, the guys whose meat suit you're wearing, his name is Jimmy. He has a wife and a daughter,' Dean started talking faster, seeing Castiel's anger slightly diminish, 'He loves his burgers, and one time you ate over two hundred of them.'

'Why would I do that?'

'Because Famine, one of the four horsemen, made you.'

'I have not met Famine. You're speaking in riddles.'

'...Cas what's the last thing you remember?'

Castiel looked mildly taken aback by these words.

'I have just left my vessel's house and was drawn here.'

'Drawn?'

'I... Yes,' Castiel still looked suspicious but he slowly lowered the blade, 'how do you know me? How do I know you?'

Dean swallowed hard, his mind running a thousand miles a minute.

'This is going to be hard to believe, Cas...'

'Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Castiel.'

Dean laughed, it was an odd sound.

'I've called you that for... years now.'

'How do I know you?' He repeated, but it was a simple question now, not a menacing statement. Cas was simply standing in front of Dean now, his weapon completely lowered, but (as usual) he was still in Dean's personal space with his head tilted to the side in confusion. It was so familiar, Dean couldn't help but smile, tears filling his eyes at the raw emotion that boiled to the surface.

'You raised me from perdition.'


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews!

I really was going to make this a one-shot, but everyone convinced me that I should keep going, so here it is!

Please keep reviewing and let me know what you think, because seriously I have no idea what to do next...

Thanks again!

Disclaimer: Own not Supernatural I.

* * *

><p><em>This is Dean's other, other, OTHER phone. So I'm guessing this is Sam. I'm safe, don't-<em>

_**BEEP.**_

'Dean,' Sam's voice was a mixture of pleading and menace at the voicemail, 'where the hell are you, man. Call me.'

Sam hung up and stared at the phone in his hand. Sure is had only been ten minutes, but damn it, ten minutes was long enough for Dean to be dead. Sam was tapping his foot impatiently on the foot rest as he sat in the front seat of the impala, one hand on the wheel and the other ready to answer the phone as soon as it rang.

He had no idea why the hell Dean had ran off, or what he had run into, or why he had told Sam to get the car, but hell he was going to find out.

It must have been something serious, Sam reasoned to himself. He had run to the car and floored it to the corner where he had seen Dean turn into, but the dead end street was empty. Sam had got out and searched the place but there was no sign of his brother at all.

But there was no sign of sulphur, or a struggle, or anything, his mind reasoned to him again. But his stomach still growled in nervousness and his heart still pounded with fear.

Where the hell was Dean?

* * *

><p>'Where the hell are we?'<p>

'Not in hell. I can assure you,' the gruff voice replied, watching the man. He did look... familiar. Well perhaps not physically. His soul was familiar. His... _essence_, perhaps. As soon as the man – Dean, his name was – had said that it was he that had raised him from perdition...

Well. He hadn't doubted it for a second.

The question was how?

How could he have raised this man from perdition?

Even if he had, how did this man recognise him in a vessel? He had only been in his vessel for moments, before flying to where his Grace had taken him. His Grace felt safe with this man. _Perhaps he was a fallen angel_, Castiel thought, _perhaps that is why I feel so familiar to him_.

But no, there were not any angels by the name of Dean Winchester. And he could not imagine a fallen angel going to hell. Or a fallen angel that would need rescuing from hell.

Castiel did not remember being asked to raise anyone.

The man was still looking at him for an answer as Castiel mulled over all these confusing thoughts in his head.

'Dean,' he started with, and the man looked at him, with wide green eyes. The emotion that Castiel saw in those eyes was enough to make him confused all over again. There was so much... hurt. Anguish. Sadness. Relief. Fear.

What had Castiel done to this man to make him feel all those emotions?

'Yeah?' Was Deans reply. He looked nervous. _Perhaps I have scared him_, thought Castiel, _perhaps he has done wrong by me and is scared to be in my presence. _

_Ah_, another voice said in his head, _or perhaps it is the other way around? _

'I... I do not understand.'

Dean seemed to know exactly what Castiel meant because he shook his head and said, 'You're asking the wrong guy. You were gone, dead, _again_... and now you're,' Dean simply gestured to Castiel's vessel. Castiel frowned.

'Dead? That is impossible. I have only been on Earth for mere minutes.'

Dean's eyes were wide and he ran a hand over his face. Castiel, rudely, intruded into the human's mind, picking up prominent, stray thoughts.

_Minutes? He can't remember... How do I tell him... How is he back?... Who... Was it God?... Does that mean God is back?..._ Now images ran through his head, making Castiel frown deeper.

Castiel's vessel walking into... water? But no... he looked horrifying. A black residue seemed to be seeping from his vessel as he walked further into the lake. He disappeared. The image changed to one of Castiel, in a ring of... holy fire, it must have been – but why would someone trap him in holy fire? And who was it that he was talking to? He recognised Dean, but there were two other men – he could sense strong emotion behind this image. Dean. _Oh_. The betrayal and hurt was overwhelming... Castiel could feel the heaviness and despair in his heart.

He had betrayed Dean.

He could see the betrayal on his vessel's face through Dean's eyes. He could see his eyes pleading for some sort of silent forgiveness. The image changed again.

Castiel advancing towards Dean and Dean's fear... Castiel picked up that this was one of their first meetings on Earth... Dean shot at him. Lightning, thunder, wind, rain... Castiel's wings. Mere shadows of his true visage. No faith. Dean had no faith.

And Dean was still watching Castiel with a pained look on his face. Castiel blinked.

'Dean... we have met?'

Dean seemed to be unable to speak. He simply nodded.

'I can't... You don't remember,' it was a statement. Castiel almost felt ashamed. He could tell that he had meant something to this human. Shame? Why? The betrayal was evident, but since when did he feel shame for a human?

'I apologize,' and somewhere inside him, he knew he meant it, 'I believe we have met. Though... I do not remember. Why did I raise you from perdition, Dean Winchester?'

'Michael,' Dean said simply. Clearly there was a bigger explanation but Dean just couldn't speak it. It was too much.

'Michael?' Castiel was now as confused as ever. The _archangel_, Michael?

'I'm his vessel. Well I was.'

'His vessel? His... sword?' Oh no, Castiel realized that things were falling into place. This was the human. The human that would fight Lucifer.

Dean nodded, 'To fight Lucifer. Sam is Lucifer's vessel. They...' he indicated above him to the overcast sky, 'told me that I had to say yes.'

'Who is Sam?' Castiel asked but he had a feeling he already knew.

'My brother,' said Dean, sitting on the ground. Castiel simply stood, watching him.

'Something about my bloodline... Cain and Abel.'

'Yes. I have heard.'

Dean looked up.

'You have?'

'I was sent here by my superiors. I was told that the Apocalypse approaches and that the two brothers' must fight on Earth.'

Dean seemed to half-smirk. Castiel couldn't understand how a human could find this funny.

'It's a bit too late for that, Cas, sorry. Apocalypse came and went.'

This really threw Castiel off the ball.

'Excuse me?'

Dean frowned, 'What?'

'The... Apocalypse? It's already begun?'

'Yeah Sam and I let Lucifer free. Broke all the seals. Michael came down, and took my other brother instead. Sam said yes to Lucifer, Adam said yes to Michael.'

'You...' Castiel was unable to comprehend what had happened. He took a seat next to Dean, surprising both of them, 'you set Lucifer free? I don't understand. How is Earth still... How are you...'

'Sam chucked himself back into the cage. Remember before how I said that you met Famine?'

Castiel nodded, wide-eyed at all this information.

'We got all the rings from the four horsemen.'

'That is phenomenal.'

'Yeah, it was fucking _hard_, that's what it was. But you helped,' Dean smiled, but it wasn't a true smile.

'So... Lucifer and Michael jumped back in.'

'But... your brother?'

'Sam? Yeah well, that's where you come in.'

'How?'

'Well first you kind of... Molotov-d Michael with holy fire-'

'I killed Michael?' Castiel was horrified. How could he destroy a brother that way?

'Well, not exactly. Then Lucifer blew you to pieces and... God brought you back. Again.'

Castiel shook his head. What had he done?

'Then Sam was brought back,' Dean's face was hard.

'By whom?'

'You,' Dean looked at Castiel, but his face still remained hard, no longer the raw emotion in his eyes, 'you raised him too. You jumped into the pit and wrenched him back out. But you kinda forgot something.'

'Which was?'

'His soul.'

Castiel was astounded. How could he raise a man from the cage that had _held Lucifer_, and forgot something as crucial as a soul? Was he reckless and stupid? Or... perhaps... _no_, but he wouldn't do that to Dean or his brother. He wouldn't bring him... Sam... back _soulless_. Not on purpose.

Because from what Castiel could gather from Dean's thoughts, he and Castiel and Sam were like family. He thought of Castiel as family. They had all died for each other. Again and again... in a cycle...

'Dean,' Castiel's voice was filled with emotion now. He was vulnerable. And hurt. And sorry.

Dean turned to Castiel, hearing the change.

'From what I understand... I have failed you. I failed my Father. I failed my brothers.' Castiel held his knees; which was odd. But somehow he felt like he needed to. A very human reaction.

'No Cas. You were just desperate and scared.'

Those were two words that Castiel would never have associated with himself, ever. But there it was. And every fibre in him told him that it was the truth.

'Did... Dean did I fall?'

'Almost. Plenty of times you almost did. But we saved your ass,' Dean smiled now, none of the anger in his eyes anymore.

'What did I do?'

Dean looked at Castiel as he asked the question, and for a moment he was reminded of Sam. Scared Sammy, just needing his big brother. Just wanting to know that he was there for him. Just needed the reassurance that when Sam lost his way, his brother would be there, kicking him back onto the right path. Dean felt so much pity for Castiel but he knew that he would want the truth. Dean was just scared that as soon as Castiel knew the truth, he would leave again. Wanting to fix what he had done. Castiel didn't understand that it was too late.

'Cas,' Dean said quietly, 'what's done is done. Just please, believe me when I say that. You can't go back up there. Not after everything. I'm sorry.'

'I've... I rebelled,' Castiel stated, his voice more stable, 'I defied my Father and my brothers. I defied you. I must deserve this... not having any memories of being here. How long...?'

'A couple of years.'

Castiel nodded, 'It must have been a significant couple of years.'

Dean chuckled humourlessly, 'you would not believe.'

'Dean,' Castiel let go of his knees, 'I am so sorry. I do not know the full extent of what I have done and... I don't remember you. I don't remember your brother. I don't remember betraying you. But I must still apologize-'

Dean held up a hand.

'Cas,' he said roughly, the emotion back in his voice, 'don't. Just don't. You sound like Sam. Don't apologize for all this crap. You just... did what you think was right. I'm not defending what you did,' he said louder, because Castiel looked like he was about to interrupt, 'but believe me, I get it. And you must know you did something bad otherwise you wouldn't apologize. You're an angel, and I know it isn't in your nature to apologize. Especially to us 'hairless apes' or whatever it was that Uriel called us.'

'Uriel is mistaken. You are not primates of any sort. He underestimates you.'

'Uriel is dead, Cas.'

There was a silence.

'I'm not going to ask, because at the moment I do not want to know.'

Dean nodded, not saying anything. For a moment, Dean just let the cold breeze blow through his hair, giving his neck goosebumps as they sat atop the giant bridge, the low clouds slowly wetting him.

Castiel abruptly stood up, trench coat flapping in the gust.

'Where are you going?'

'I have caused too much pain for you Dean. I can see that.'

'Where the hell would you go, Cas? You can't go back up there,' Dean stood up, not looking down at the miniscule cars travelling below him.

'I can not stay down here. I do not even know you. All I know is... since I raised you from perdition, I have caused nothing but trouble; for myself, for my brothers, for you. How many angels have I killed for you, Dean?' Castiel was angry. Clearly he had done some quick yet thorough thinking in those fleeting, silent moments. Dean looked angry, but quite clearly hurt.

'You're seriously going to pull _that_ card? You're going to just run off again, looking for another quick escape because you're too afraid to talk to me and Sam? Well that wouldn't be the first time,' Dean spat.

'I don't remember, Dean! How am I meant to live here with the guilt of something I do not know?'

'You apologized and I forgave you! That's how!'

'And Sam? If I have done all this to you, what about Sam? What kind of bastard raises a man from hell without a soul? There is no way I could have simply _missed out_ or _forgotten_, Dean! There would have been a reason!' Cas roared back.

Dean looked taken aback but there was fire in his eyes.

'Don't... Don't even TRY,' he said in a menacing tone over the wind, 'I FORGAVE YOU. NOW YOU'VE GOT TO FORGIVE YOURSELF! DAMN IT, CAS, LISTEN TO ME FOR A FUCKING CHANGE!'

'DEAN, I _DON'T REMEMBER_!' Cas yelled back. The wind blew more fiercely but Castiel stood there, anger and pain in his eyes as the wind simply blew around him, but Dean was noticeably trying to stand his ground. There was a look of realization in Dean's eyes and he ripped off his jacket. Castiel momentarily lost his anger.

'Dean, wha-'

Dean grabbed Castiel's arm in a tight grip and pulled him towards him, Castiel looked at him with wide, blue eyes at the fierceness in Dean's.

'You know me, Cas,' Dean reached for his t-shirt sleeve and pushed it up, revealing the raised pink hand-print that was forever scarred onto his arm.

He grabbed Castiel's wrist, and before Castiel could object, Dean pushed Castiel's palm over the handprint.


End file.
